The Chasm
by DBKate
Summary: Q/O (implied slash) -- A short AU that takes plac


Category: Story, slash implications Pairing: Q/O 

Rating: PG Fandom: Star Wars/The Phantom Menace Spoilers: None A

Disclaimer: These characters are the creation and property of George Lucas. No copyright infringement is intended and no money may be made from this story. 

Summary: A short AU, I'll assume taking place some time before the events in TPM. 

========

THE CHASM by DBKate, 1999 

========

The twin suns of Berhat rose with their usual vengeance.

Binary stars, a smaller, hotter one placed beside a cooler giant, circling eternally together, heating light years worth of space ... burning and destroying some parts, giving warmth and life to others.

Obi-wan Kenobi avoided looking at them directly. Their combined might could blind a man in minutes if he were careless and Obi-Wan had no intention of being scarred for a lifetime by mere curiosity.

Instead, he stared out onto the vast desert plains of Berhat. Watched the sands shift and sway in patterns, static gold weaving to and fro in the still cool morning breeze. His vantage point was an excellent one, a huge cliff jutting out from the side of Berhat's third highest peak, overlooking miles of wasteland.

Wasteland that still held endless forms of life and Obi-Wan contemplated them easily, letting himself flow with and around them, enjoying their disparity. The hours passed easily before he was through and he felt refreshed when finished.

Stretched his limbs lazily and on an impulse, looked down. A rocky chasm lie hundreds of feet below and to his surprise, he felt a strong touch of vertigo roll up his spine. A dizzy, frightening wave of chaos overtook his senses and he immediately grew fearful.

He didn't step back from the edge immediately, but instead, carefully examined the experience. Remembered that as a child, he'd feared chasms such as this, feared the possibility of falling ... the terror of final flight. It was an ordinary, childish terror, one that shouldn't have bothered him, but since it did, it had to be dealt with.

He concentrated on the fear, tore it down to its most basic elements and let it wash over him using the methods Qui-Gon had taught him from day one. Attempted to let it pass through him and away, banishing it to a part of his conscience he no longer needed, therefore eliminating it entirely.

It didn't work. He was still afraid.

Immediately, Obi-Wan felt a sharp sense of failure pervade him, accompanied by deep shame. Failing such elementary lessons at this late stage was inexcusable and he had no idea how such a thing could happen.

He tried again, desperately this time and once more he failed. The vertigo grew worse and for one terrible moment Obi-Wan was convinced that he might actually lose his footing, but luckily his reflexes were still working and he caught himself just before tumbling headfirst into the abyss.

Trembling, Obi-Wan stepped back from the chasm's edge ... and fairly ran back to the safe shelter of his room.

Without a backwards glance.

========

That evening he found Qui-Gon waiting for him in one of the southern conservatories.

It had been set up as a huge greenhouse, sheltering exotic flowers gathered from the galaxy over, protecting them from the dryness and heat of the outside wasteland. It was there, within the chaos of color that his Master sat, a peaceful island surrounded by an oasis of life.

Obi-Wan greeted him as always. Showing him respect tempered with a gentler emotion that he'd always made sure to keep well under control. "Master."

Qui-Gon didn't look up, but with the slightest of head movements, motioned for his student to sit.

He obeyed, taking his place at the Master's feet, cross legged and silent. Took a few moments to examine the flowers that surrounded them, carefully noting their various shapes and colors, allowing himself to wonder at the endless variety of life; to feel the fused energy that was flowing throughout the greenhouse.

Heard Qui-Gon's quiet voice interrupt his meditation. "Something happened to you this morning on the cliffs. Something that troubled you." It was a statement, not a question.

Obi-Wan felt himself flush and berated himself for it. Another failure. "Yes, Master."

Qui-Gon didn't look at his apprentice, he didn't reply ... he simply waited.

A moment later, Obi-Wan continued. "I stood at the cliffs this morning looking out over the wastes. All was well, until I chanced to look down. Upon viewing the height, I noticed that I felt an old childhood fear return ... a fear of falling. I attempted to alleviate the fear as you had taught me long ago, but I failed." He hesitated. "This bothered me greatly."

"Which bothered you more? The fear or your failure to conquer it?"

Obi-Wan considered carefully. "I would have to say my fear, Master. For most failures can be remedied with practice and discipline, but if I cannot control a fear as simple as this one..."

"All creatures fear falling," interrupted Qui-Gon easily, plucking a faded bloom from a huge flowering bush beside him and running his thumb over its death burnt petals. "Even if they don't fear the inevitable death that would follow such an event. They fear the flight itself, wondering what it would feel like to lose their footing ... to tumble through nothingness. To lose the power of their limbs, leaving the fate of their physical being to pure chance. No, it's not the death that we fear ..."

"It's the loss of control," whispered Obi-Wan.

Qui-Gon nodded. "Yes."

It was a unsettling revelation and Obi-Wan nervously contemplated it. Turned to Qui-Gon, intending to question him further, when he noticed that a large piece was missing from Qui-Gon's cloak ... a jagged rip right that went all the way up to his elbow.

Obi-Wan felt a further sense of unease. Qui-Gon had usually maintained a neat, if austere appearance and this aberration surprised him. He wondered if the Master had even noticed the rent in his clothing, perhaps spending the day lost in contemplation.

He decided to risk finding out. "Master," he said quietly, hoping not to offend. "Your cloak. It's torn."

Qui-Gon didn't look down, but instead looked into Obi-Wan's eyes with an open, affectionate gaze. "Yes, it is. Don't you remember how this happened?"

Obi-Wan blinked. Shook his head. "I'm sorry, Master, but I do not."

"Last night I was instructing you on the seven principles of Tsu'it-Zin. I'd barely finished with the first one before I'd noticed that you'd fallen asleep."

Obi-Wan's eyes widened. He was about to apologize, profusely, when Qui-Gon stopped him with a wave of his hand.

And the slightest hint of a smile. "Yes, deep asleep. With your head resting against a piece of my cloak. So, instead of waking you from your rest..." Blue eyes, fathomless and deep, met his own. "I tore it off."

At this, Obi-Wan was struck speechless.

His Master ... tearing his own cloak instead of waking him. It was an action so thoughtful, so impossibly considerate, he could hardly bear to imagine it. He slumped against his seat, lost in thought, when he felt a gentle caress against his cheek.

It was a light, ghostly touch, yet at the same time, perfectly warm and human. Obi-Wan quickly turned to look at what he assumed was its source, but his Master's hand was nowhere to be seen.

"Go to bed, Padawan," said Qui-Gon gently. "Tomorrow we have many tasks."

Numbly, Obi-Wan nodded and obeyed. Leaving Qui-Gon once more as he'd found him.

A calm island framed by a chaotic display of life.

=======

Obi-Wan retired late that evening to his pallet. It was there he discovered a small piece of cloth lying on the end of the coverlet.

He immediately recognized it as the torn piece of his Master's cloak.

Obi-Wan picked it and examined it closely. Felt around its soft, worn edges and it immediately became a symbol to him, a symbol of care and affection.

A symbol of sacrifice.

He held onto it tightly and allowed himself to contemplate the sacrifices that Qui-Gon had made for him throughout their years together. The sheer scope and depth of them took his breath away and it reminded him of the cliff's edge when he felt the same sense of dizziness nearly overwhelm him.

Debated what to do, when the answer hit him.

Closing his eyes, Obi-Wan visualized the chasm and allowed himself to fall ... fall straightaway into the abyss without another thought.

It was a beautiful flight.

A spiraling tumble through warm air that at once freed and exhilarated him more than almost anything he'd ever known. His control was gone, and along with it, he realized that his fear of falling had disappeared.

Completely.

He opened his eyes slowly and with reverence, Obi-Wan tucked the torn fabric into the sleeve of his cloak. Lay down and slept easily, dreaming of flight and the light touch of his Master's care, soft as the worn bit of cloth kept safely beside him.

======== 

fini

All comments welcome. DBKate2@aol.com 


End file.
